Current mood:	pessimistic
Current music:	Death silence

I'm so tired of being a chore!
Hello world.

I am so freaking tired of being considered a chore by everyone in this house.
I swear I can't go on like this, it just sucks so much.

And I am even more tired of keeping up this optimistic crap, that good things can happen to me, cause they can't.
I am this close to losing it right now,... but, I am ok, I will pull through this, it's not like it's the first time I feel this way.

I keep feeling like everyone is doing favours for me, espeically my parents.
And even when they don't, I can't even tell anymore, it just feels like it, and I start feeling that EVERYONE even just my friends, aren't really intrested in doing the thigns they want to do with me, like come over, as if they're doing it out of... I don't know pitty, or other reasons, and I KNOW it's not true, but I can't help feeling like that.

And people don't even bother asking me what's wrong, they just assume that it's them or that it's something with my health, or that it's something with my brother... but they keep assuming and never ask and it's so... fucked up!

And right now I don't know what to do, cause everyone wants to be someplace else, but they will end up staying with me, cause they think they will make me happy by doing so, but they won't. They just end up making me feel bad about myself, like I am this big chore and this big deal that is interfering with their lives.

And the really sad thing is, I don't blame them... I don't blame anyone, I blame myself.
Right now I feel like crap, and too many things are bohtering me, going through my head...